In fact, in society hatred is considered a good thing, as long as you hate what you are supposed to hate. I don’t think that I have to go into detail about this. We can all think of examples of things that are socially acceptable to hate. My confusion came up when people expressed a hatred for some type of animal. I had learned not to hate snakes, spiders, and other creepy crawly animals, so I didn’t understand why others couldn’t recognize the stupidity of hating them.

I don’t remember exactly how or when, but it occurred to me that others were like me. Not in a physical sense or that we thought alike, but deep down in their souls where it really mattered. Being an Atheist at the time, I thought of the soul as being the genetic essence of Homo sapiens. The intangible substance that made us human. That when all was considered, we are more alike than we are different. And just as I had learned to hate and do hateful things, it only followed that others would have learned to do so as well. Then I begin to see people not as “evil,” but as differently conditioned animals

This is when I really began to question why I hated. And why others hated and did hateful things. I found that it was easier for me try to understand how come others acted as they did, rather than trying to focus on why I am the way I am. Exploring my own motivations was too hard emotionally for me to gain any real insight. I had to explore others’ motivations first, and then reflect back on why I thought and behaved as I do. This gave me the ability to divorce myself from my own emotions and really consider what caused hatred. Examining others, made it possible for me to be more objective about myself. So, I began to think about all of the things that I knew about psychology and people in general.

I started with a concept I heard, I don’t remember where or when, that it takes six seconds for fear to turn to rage. This means that, when something scares us, we become angry and hateful very quickly. The more intense the fear, and the longer it lasts, the more intense the anger and hatred. This concept allowed me to figure out why I hated. By considering what I hated, I was able to identify what it was that I feared. Then I was able to mitigate my hatred by learning not to fear the thing I hated. Which is much easier said than done.

We are always going to have fearful situations. It is a part of life. Being fearful is a necessary part of our “genetic programming” that helps keep us from doing really dangerous things. Fear keeps us alive long enough to reproduce. Yet too much fear, keeps us from becoming all that we could become. I knew that I could not completely eradicate my fears, nor did I want to do so, but I wondered is there anything I could do to mitigate my fears? In considering this, I found that there were things I could do.